He Knows My Future

Fear. I deal with it on a daily basis. There are mixed ideas on what fear looks like, but everyone is different, and their circumstances vary. For me, fear is being afraid of what the future holds. Time passing and being wasted, or even just time passing in general. What is my purpose? What does God want me to do, where does He want me to go? I feel like college students deal with this more than most. We are trying to figure out what we want to do for the rest of our lives, and most times we don't even know.

This is when we need to learn to trust God.

I was in a relationship for a year and half. We had spoken of getting married, what we wanted to do afterwards, how many kids we wanted to have, and so on. I began putting my trust in him and what he promised me rather than in God and His promises. I began using him as a way to fill that space of fear of the future, expecting that to be secure and sure. Well, I’m sure you can guess what happens. We aren’t together anymore, and all of that security I had found in him was gone. For days and days I panicked. What is my future supposed to look like now? I had it all planned and now all of those plans have fallen through. What is my purpose now?

See, I had begun to find my purpose in my relationship. In the wrong place. It’s been almost a month now that we have been broken up, yet in the first week afterwards, God had already started to show me how my focus was so wrong. The only place where my fears can truly be calmed, where my purpose can truly be found, is in the greater relationship with Christ. In Him alone will I truly be satisfied.

I still worry about what my future holds. The fear of the unknown keeps me awake late into the night sometimes. Although, now, I know I am loved by the One who truly holds my future. Who has gone behind and before me and already knows what the end of my story looks like. Learning this has eased my fears, in a way that no one on Earth could ever do.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and He shall give you peace.